We all know someone who can’t wait to check out, photograph, or Instagram the seasonal cherry blossoms.
There are groups dedicated to celebrating their festivals, even remote and virtual festivals during the time of COVID19.
I’d bet the rush relates to how short-lived the buds are—how small a window we have to experience them. They don’t last long. Typically, there’s a two week, weather-dependent span to see them in their prime. I find that as humans, we become anxious by our limited time to enjoy experiences or attain goals. It points to an external locus of control—many situations are out of our hands no matter what steps are taken to plan or anticipate. We feel discomfort at being told something is over, that it can’t continue, that we need to re-adjust our expectations of stability or alignment. I’ve observed this both in personal lives and professional pursuits. We have difficulty with impermanence, with understanding that some situations are lifelong & others meant only for a season. We hold on to memories, people, pain, jobs, long after an expiration date, long after it’s/they’re already gone. We belabor moments in meetings we feel went awry or in which we felt minimized or dismissed. We bend situations out of shape or lose perspective on how little they matter to the big picture. We become mired by sadness and loss when someone leaves us, especially when having been given no indicators of this upcoming plot twist. We question our value as a person, partner, creator, entrepreneur, whatever definition feels shaken or stirred.
Don’t do this to yourself. I’ve been bulldozed with the best of them. I’ve wondered how something could possibly have happened, why in the world someone would behave that way, how could that organization not have grasped my value, the value of a project, or that of a fellow team member? Why and how could a stable and consistent situation be grabbed from underneath us? We have difficulty understanding how much of life is not fixed. It’s consistent and stable at the time it is, and no more. Very few people and situations are ride or dies. Only certain ones are meant for the end goal. Some are temporary and teach us lessons in business or personal lives. Accept them for what they are and allow them to ease their way out. I think of it as water that swishes around a bowl and then back out the drain.
The most effective way to move forward on a personal or professional level is to appreciate the best that came from the situation, learn to use it productively, & let it go. I personally admit that the phrase, ‘Let it go,’ ranks as a few of the most uncomfortable words in the English language for me. Even when children sang the song from Frozen, it reminded me of having to give up or accept a defeat I didn’t deserve. I’m just like you. We all feel confused or unsteady when taken by surprise or slapped in the face by life’s impermanence. Moving forward, navigating through it is never easy…but worth the effort. One day, you wake up & realize you haven’t thought of the problem: it doesn’t hurt, you feel lighter, & that’s when you know you’ve fully done the work. Only the best things happen from there.